Lupo is a space weirdo - Александр Александрович Чечитов
- Категория: Космическая фантастика / Русская классическая проза / Юмористическая фантастика
- Название: Lupo is a space weirdo
- Автор: Александр Александрович Чечитов
- Возрастные ограничения:Книга может включать контент, предназначенный только для лиц старше 18 лет.
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Александр Чечитов
Lupo is a space weirdo
Bouncing off the nail of the thumb, a tiny, thin coin spun, flew up, and then fell silently on the back of the hand.
"The eagle, — Lupo Davega grinned contentedly, raising his palm, "which means the spaceship is mine!
A yellow-skinned, scaly creature, about ten feet tall, spread its seven limbs to the sides and said, "Please. As soon as I get in, I'll send a signal to Gentry to be picked up from Earth.
Yes, of course," happily answered Lupo, in his heart laughing at the simplicity and credulity of the alien. The round-sided humanoid deftly crawled inside the capsule ship, the size of which did not exceed the size of a school bus. The alien's lumpy belly pulsed with a multitude of tiny subcutaneous lumps, slowly moving under the translucent scales. The alien himself was muttering at this moment squeaky sounds, completely incomprehensible to Lupo. What if he runs away? — a strange thought slipped through Lupo's head — and to hell with him!
Devega tried to drive away such thoughts as soon as possible. He liked to think more about how much you can sell an outlandish thing obtained in a trifling contest.
Do you want to play again? The Gentrian asked dispassionately, stroking the spherical belly. Lupo's eyes widened. He quickly took in his winnings with an appraising glance, then the caricature — the thin top of the figure with spider-like limbs.
Does my victory bother you? I understand. But it seems you have nothing else to bet on.
What about management? After all, you, or any other of the earthlings, will not be able to cope with this matter in a thousand years," the Gentrian said unhurriedly. On the morning of this day, Lupo Devega did not suspect the existence of aliens, waking up with a huge debt and an empty stomach. Walking along the city embankment, when even the sun was dozing over the horizon, Lupo kicked an empty soda can. The aluminum projectile flew quite a bit and fell, colliding with an invisible obstacle. The rope limbs and the body of the Gentrian gradually materialized in the next moment, appearing in all their alien glory. "It wouldn't hurt for you to learn good manners when meeting guests," the humanoid said reproachfully. Twelve hours later, Lupo was already playing with a representative of extraterrestrial life for the opportunity to control an intergalactic, super-powerful machine. The coin bounced again, for a moment, cutting through the hot, evening air. Lupo's forehead and neck were covered with perspiration, and a special, gambling gleam appeared in his eyes. He closed his eyes for a second, letting his heart enjoy a brief moment of anticipation. Unlike what Lupo expected, the learning process lasted a few seconds. The device, shaped and sized like a lipstick case, touched his skin so that Devega felt a slight, electric pulse tension between his ears. The air seemed to be filled with an aroma reminiscent of the fragrance of apricot flowers.
How do you do it? The yellow Gentrian asked before departure, blinking all three eyes frequently.
"It was just an accident," calmly lied Lupo, who had done this trick many times since he was a child. A couple of hours later, next to the winning spaceship Lupo, there was a second similar car. Several thousand microscopic turbines flashed greenish light for a moment, and the alien ship disappeared over the horizon.
Did everything go smoothly? The first Gentrian asked dispassionately when he found himself alone with his fellow tribesman on an intergalactic ship.
"More than that," replied the second, "this earthman thinks he could deceive me.
The silvery bottom of the spaceship silently pressed the spreading branches of blue grapes, and the warm wind carried the tart aroma of fresh juice through the streets of a small village. Lupo has adored the ancestral vineyard of his parents since childhood, gorging on sweet berries until his stomach cramps. The door leading inside the spaceship quietly retracted under the threshold of the entrance, and Devega deftly jumped down to the wet ground. In one motion, he plucked a massive bunch of grapes and ran to his parents' house, singing a cheerful song along the way.
What is this Lupo? Mom asked timidly, looking at the shiny hull with apprehension, when her son led her to the aircraft.
Well, I told you, Mom, something like an alien dish.
I'll tell you one thing, son, when your father returns from the city, and that will happen one of these days. He will give you a good thrashing for spoiled bushes.
"Mom," Lupo said with a pleading smile, "I promised, everything, will change soon. Lupo did not want to wait for his father. He had not been the same youngster for a long time, whom a parent could previously drive around the yard with a stick. And yet, somewhere inside, I was afraid of my father's reaction. The dashboard glowed with a pleasant turquoise color, and many protrusions — buttons — reacted to the light touch of Lupo, changing the color shade. The portholes of the ship were on the sides, and it was impossible to look into them without looking up from the levers setting the course of the spaceship. Going over in memory the load of knowledge necessary for control, Lupo remembered the possibility of automatic flight. Having typed the necessary combination of taps, Devega leaned his face against the transparent window, admiring the myriad stars frozen in weightlessness. Some of the cosmic bodies were slowly floating along the hull of a small ship. Other shapeless objects flashed by, barely perceptible to the human eye, disappearing without a trace into the immeasurable blackness of the universe. Several times, giant asteroids passed at the very edge of the outer skin of the spaceship, and then Lupo bounced deep into the head